Friday, December 24, 2010
EXACTLY HOW : N.S.an(INSANE) MINISTRY
I HAVE MADE MANY CHOICES TO MAKE MYSELF A PAVEMENT THROUGH LIFE, WHAT I THOUGHT WAS RIGHT , WAS WRONG; AND NOW ALL I SEE IS STRIFE. IT SEEMS EVERY PATH I TAKE BRINGS ME BACK TO WHERE I ALREADY WAS; JUST SPINNING MY WHEELS, I AM TRYING TO BE POSIYIVE, BUT DOWN IS HOW I DEFINITELY FEEL. I HAVE LOTS TO LOOK BACK ON, BUT NOTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO, SO I DWELL ON THE PAST, WHAT ELSE IS A TROUBLED MIND TO DO? I HAD EVERYTHING I WANTED... YET STILL WANTED EVERYTHING I SAW, IT TOOK LOSING EVERYTHING... THEN LOOKING FROM THE OUTSIDE IN, TO RECOGNIZE THIS FLAW. NOW IT SEEMS ALL I DO IS SIT... MAD, REMINISE, AND GET HIGH TO TRY TO BLOK THE PAIN, ALONE, LONELY, BITTER, ANGRY, AND SO-SO UPSET AT MYSELF, GOT MY BLOOD PRESSURE UP FROM STRESS AND THOUGHTS OF SUISIDE KEEP TAUNGHTING AT MY HEALTH. IN THE END, ALL THAT I DID I KAN BLAME NOONE ELSE. I PRAYED AND PRAYED FOR BLESSINGS TO BE SENT, BUT I DIDNT REALIZE I HAD THEM TIL THEY WERE ALREADY SPENT. I HAVE WASTED OVER HALF MY LIFE SLANGIN, BANGIN, BALLIN ON TOP, DIDNT EVEN FEEL MYSELF SLIDE BEFOR I DROPPED. EVEN NOW I SIT HERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT ALL MEANS, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO GET OUT OF WHAT THE FUK IVE DONE AND SEEN? DOES IT ALL HAVE A PURPOSE? WAS IT ALL FOR A MUTHA FUKIN REASON? DEAR GOD HELP ME!.. IM SO TIRED OF FEELING THIS SAME OLD SEASON. I KNOW GOD HAS A MESSAGE FOR HIDDEN SOMEWHERE, THIS IS NOT WHY HE PUT ME HERE, IT WONT BE LIKE THIS FOREVER... TO THINK DIFFERENT I TRY NOT TO DARE, (SIGH)... I JUST HOPE I FIND THE MESSAGE WHILE I STILL SEEM TO KARE. I KNOW HE WOULDNT BRING ME HERE TO LEAVE ME FORSAKE AND FORGOT, SO I BEG IN MY PRAYERS TO FOR CLEAR EYES TO SEE MY WAY BAK TO THE TOP. *END*
THE FLAMES by: N.S.an(INSANE) MINISTRY
IT STARTS WITH HEARING YOUR SWEET VOICE. EVERY WORD TANGLES ME DEEPER IN YOUR WEB. WILLINGLY WANTIN TO BE BIT. THE MORE I HEAR YOUR VOICE, THE MORE I WANT TO GRAB YOU AND PRESS YOU AGAINST THE WALL. BEGIN TO KISS YOU SLOWLY AND PASSIONATELY. I RUB MY HANDS ALL OVER YOUR BODY. BEGIN TO KISS YOUR NECK AND DOWN YOUR SHOULDERS, DOWN YOUR ARMS AND GRAB YOUR HANDS. I KISS DOWN FURTHER BETWEEN YOUR BREASTS, STOPPING TO TASTE EACH ONE SEPERATELY...THEN BOTH TOGETHER. THE TOUCH OF YOUR SKIN AGAINST MY LIPS MAKES ME BREATHE HEAVILY. KEEP KISSING DOWN YOUR STOMACH, DOWN EACH LEG TO YOUR FEET. RUBBING YOUR WHOLE BODY DOWN...THE WHOLE TIME. I TASTE EACH OF YOUR TOES AS I BEGIN TO RUB YOUR BODY WITH OIL. I KISS BACK UP EACH OF YOUR LEGS UNTIL REACH YOUR LOVE. I PUT YOUR LEGS ON MY SHOULDERS AS I KNEEL AND TASTE YOR LOVE. THE SWEET TASET DRIVES ME INTO A FRENZY! I BEGIN DEVOURING YOUR LOVE. MAKING SURE TO GET EACH SWEET DROP, OF YOUR LOVES JUICE. I STAND BEFORE YOU. THEN PICK YOU UP GENTLY IN MY ARMS, HEADING FOR THE BED COVERED WITH ROSE PETALS. CANDLES OF SWEET SCENT ARE LIT, AND EVERYWHERE. I LAY YOU ON YOUR STOMACH AND BEGIN TO RUB YOUR NECK AND BACK WITH OIL. KISSING DOWN YOUR SPINE. RUBBING THE SMALL OF YOUR BACK DEEPLY. MOANING SOFTLY. KISS DOWN OVER YOUR BUT AND THE BACK OF YOUR LEGS. TURN OVER...I SAY GENTLY. I CLIMB OVER YOU SLOW KISING ALL THE WAY UP TO YOUR LIPS AND TOUNGE AGAIN. I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES AND TELL YOU I LOVE YOU IN BETWEEN KISSES. WE KISS VIOLENTYLY AS MY LOVE SLIDES INSIDE YOURS. I CLOSE MY EYES IN A BURST OF HEAVENLY PLEASURE. EACH THRUST MAKES MY EYES ROLL AND I SIGH IN EXTACY. DEEPER AND HARDER. HEAVEN ON EARTH IS INSIDE YOU. I KISS YOUR TOES AS YOUR LEGS ARE UP ON MY SHOULDERS. I SCREAM YOUR NAME AS I BREAK INTO A BURST OF SPEED. OVERCOME WITH PLEASURE...THE MUSCLES IN MY BODY TENSE UP. I SHAKE N SCREAM OUT YOUR NAME. I CLIMAX HARD AND SHIVER FROM AN OVERLOAD OF PURE PLEASURE. I TELL YOU I LOVE YOU AS I LAY NEXT TO YOU. HOLDING YOU ...WITH NO INTENTION OF LETTING GO. I LAY FULLY SATISFIED. COVERED IN SWEAT...BURNED OUT OF ME...FROM THE FLAMES OF ONE WITH ANGEL EYES. ***END***
KAUGHT OFF GUARD BY-N.S.an(INSANE) MINISTRY
CANT GET HER OUTTA MY SIGHT! SINCE I SEEN HER... THOUGHTS ASYMETRICAL. BEAUTY BLURRED MY EYES INTO A BLUR. TOUCHED BY THE HANDS OF GOD, FROM ONE SIGHT NO VISUAL FLAW! NEVER TO FORGET THE VISION I SAW, EXOTIC ANGEL WHOSE FACE BROKE EVERY LAW. WISH SHE WAS NEXT TO ME. ONE TOUCH WOULD CALM SCREAMS TO SPEAKIN SOFTLY. WHEN IT RAINS... ALL THOUGHTS RETURN TO SHE, KEEPER OF MY FLAME... AND IF I DONT SEE HER AGAIN, I MIGHT NOT BREATH THE SAME. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, RAMBLIN THROUGH MY BRAIN... I JUST KNEW I WOULD STAY UNTAMED.... I JUST KNEW I WOULD STAY UNTAMED!! **END**
PRAYER FOR TRUE LOVE: BY-N.S.an(INSANE) MINISTRY
NEVER THOUGHT THAT ONE GLIMPSE INTO SOMEONES EYES,WOULD BRING ME TO WANT NOTHING OR NO ONE ELSE. ALL I HAVE BEEN WAITIN FOR SINCE THEN, IS HER HEARTS OK TO BE MADE AS ONE IN THE VOWS OF THE LORD. SO LONG AS I HAVE BREATH, I SHALL LOVE HER AND TREAT HER LIKE THE ANGEL SHE IS! HEAVEN, HAS TRULY SHED ITS BLESSINGS ON ME; FOR I FEEL, THRUOGH GOD ALMIGHTY AND HER, I HAVE FOUND MY SALVATION... MY UTOPIA. AND I VOW: TO PROTECT HER, TO BE HER STRENGTH, TO BE HER BEST FRIEND, TO DEFEND HER: EVEN IF IN WRONG, TO GRANT HER WHATEVER HER HEART DESIRES, TO NEVER TURN MY BACK ON HER, TO ALWAYS BE HER CONFIDANT, TO STAY BY HER IN SICKNESS, TO PRAISE HER LIKE THE QUEEN SHE IS, TO SHOWER HER WITH AFFECTION, TO NEVER KEEP ANYTHING FROM HER,TO ONLY WANT HER TOUCH, TO ALWAYS LISTEN TO WHAT SHE SAYS, TO RESPECT HER FEELINGS: EVEN IF I DONT AGREE WITH THEM, TO KEEP HER AS MY LIFES INSPIRATION, TO KEEP MY FLAME FOR HER BURNING FOREVER, TO ALWAYS LET HER KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HER, TO SHOWER HER WITH MUCH DESERVING COMPLIMENTS, TO BE HER UNCONDITIONAL LOVER, TO BE HER SOULMATE...FOREVER...IN GODS NAME.....AMEN. **END**
SWEET OBSESSION by: N.S.an(INSANE) MINISTRY
She is angelik...one look keeps me coming bak to her...thoughts of her skream at da bak of my mind! And though my thoughts shift often...she is always in them. Her smell tranquilizes me,her voice and smile surrenders me!! When her eyes look into mine...I'm rendered useless!!! Her happiness growth and well being are worth the rest of my life... To prove! I will sacrifice any amount of and effort to be in her presence! Her love moves me to change her last name...emotional ties to strong to play a game....her touch soothes bak my hearts pain...every touch leaves me skreamin again!..she is the strength to keep my head high,when my bak is bent heavy from strain... And the reason I see beauty n endless nights of rain. [END]
AS I STRUGGLE :BY: N.S.an(INSANE) MINISTRY
AS I STRUGGLE TO GET FRESH AIR FROM THIS SMOG
I STRUGGLE TO FIND A MEAL RID OF THAT DAMED HOG,
AS I STRUGGLE TO SEE THERE IS NO RESPEKT FOR OUR SISTAS,
DONE SO WRONNG, KOMPASSION GONE FROM EMOTIONAL BLISTERS,
NO ONE KARES TO HELP U; YOUR PROBLEMS ARE NOT THEIRS,
SO THEY WASH THEY HANDS AND FOKOUS ON THEIR WEARS,
YOU ARE DAMED FROM BIRTH TO HELL ON EARTH,
NO ONE SEARCHES AND EVERYTHING IS TAKEN FOR WHAT ITS WORTH,
WHY DO WE DIE?
WHY DO WE BELIEVE A LIE?
WHEN RAIN FALLS-ANGELS KRY,
THROW MY HANDS UP IN THE AIR AS IM TRYIN TO MAINTAIN,
THROUGH THE STRAIN OF THE GRIND AND THE PAIN,IN MY RIGHT SIDED BRAIN.
INNOCENT PEOPLE ARE SHOT AND KILLED FOR NO REASON,
WHILE MANY GO ON LIVING GUILTY OF TREASON.
AS I STRUGGLE TO GET OUTTA DEBT ...SO I GRIND,
I PRAY FOR VISION TO HELP ME SEPERATE MAN FRON MANKIND.
AS I STRUGGLE TO SEE WHY I WAS KALLED THREE FIFTHS OF A MAN; SUB HUMAN BEAST;BEFORE I WAS BORN,
AND WATCH MY ELDERS RETIRE TO SHACKS-BUT WORKED UNTIL AGE HAD THEM WORN.
I DONT SEE HOW YOU KAN HAVE JUSTICE IN AN UNJUST WORLD,
MANY TIMES I HAVE PUT THE GUN TO MY HEAD AFTER THE REVOLVER WAS TWIRLED.
NO ONE KARES IF SKREAM OUT FROM THE PAIN IN THIS SURVIVAL GAME,
SO I GET DRUNK UNTIL IM SLURRED TO BLOK LIFE FROM GIVIN ME ITS MIGRANE,
GOD PLEASE! HEAR THESE KRIES FROM YOUR SON-YOUR KREATION,
THOUGH I AM NOT FREE FROM SIN...I WANT NO PART OF YOUR SEKOND KOMING CREMATION-ETERNAL DAMNATION.
NO MATTER WHAT I WEAR THE POLICE IS FOREVER ON MY FACE,
AND SINCE MY HEART IS PURE THE DEVILS ALWAYS IN MY KASE!
NOBODY GIVES A FUKK WHEN YOU DOWN,
EITHER DUST YOUR ASS OFF OR STAY THE HELL ON THE GROUND!
I KNOW HOW U FEEL WHE THE PAIN MAKES YOUR EYES SWELL,
GOT NIGGAS MASTERBATIN TO STAY SANE INSIDE A JAIL CELL.
BUT...YOU TURN YOUR HEAD LIKE WAHT IM SAYIN AINT REAL,
TOO BUSY JOCKIN SHAQUILLE BETTER -KNOW TO DEAL,
YOUR MUTHA FUKKIN KARDS OR GET STUKK KUTIN YARDS, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH A HOOKA ASS WIFE1
JEALOUSY WITH HENNESSEY MAKES A NIGGA AKT SHIFTY,
PUT THE BARREL TO YOUR HEAD AND AND HEAT HE HEATER SOMETHIN SWIFTLY,
OUT OF NOWHERE ,SHOTS! INNOCENT BYSTANDER DROPS,
A BAD DREAM KEEPS ME WAKE
I STRUGGLE TO FIND A MEAL RID OF THAT DAMED HOG,
AS I STRUGGLE TO SEE THERE IS NO RESPEKT FOR OUR SISTAS,
DONE SO WRONNG, KOMPASSION GONE FROM EMOTIONAL BLISTERS,
NO ONE KARES TO HELP U; YOUR PROBLEMS ARE NOT THEIRS,
SO THEY WASH THEY HANDS AND FOKOUS ON THEIR WEARS,
YOU ARE DAMED FROM BIRTH TO HELL ON EARTH,
NO ONE SEARCHES AND EVERYTHING IS TAKEN FOR WHAT ITS WORTH,
WHY DO WE DIE?
WHY DO WE BELIEVE A LIE?
WHEN RAIN FALLS-ANGELS KRY,
THROW MY HANDS UP IN THE AIR AS IM TRYIN TO MAINTAIN,
THROUGH THE STRAIN OF THE GRIND AND THE PAIN,IN MY RIGHT SIDED BRAIN.
INNOCENT PEOPLE ARE SHOT AND KILLED FOR NO REASON,
WHILE MANY GO ON LIVING GUILTY OF TREASON.
AS I STRUGGLE TO GET OUTTA DEBT ...SO I GRIND,
I PRAY FOR VISION TO HELP ME SEPERATE MAN FRON MANKIND.
AS I STRUGGLE TO SEE WHY I WAS KALLED THREE FIFTHS OF A MAN; SUB HUMAN BEAST;BEFORE I WAS BORN,
AND WATCH MY ELDERS RETIRE TO SHACKS-BUT WORKED UNTIL AGE HAD THEM WORN.
I DONT SEE HOW YOU KAN HAVE JUSTICE IN AN UNJUST WORLD,
MANY TIMES I HAVE PUT THE GUN TO MY HEAD AFTER THE REVOLVER WAS TWIRLED.
NO ONE KARES IF SKREAM OUT FROM THE PAIN IN THIS SURVIVAL GAME,
SO I GET DRUNK UNTIL IM SLURRED TO BLOK LIFE FROM GIVIN ME ITS MIGRANE,
GOD PLEASE! HEAR THESE KRIES FROM YOUR SON-YOUR KREATION,
THOUGH I AM NOT FREE FROM SIN...I WANT NO PART OF YOUR SEKOND KOMING CREMATION-ETERNAL DAMNATION.
NO MATTER WHAT I WEAR THE POLICE IS FOREVER ON MY FACE,
AND SINCE MY HEART IS PURE THE DEVILS ALWAYS IN MY KASE!
NOBODY GIVES A FUKK WHEN YOU DOWN,
EITHER DUST YOUR ASS OFF OR STAY THE HELL ON THE GROUND!
I KNOW HOW U FEEL WHE THE PAIN MAKES YOUR EYES SWELL,
GOT NIGGAS MASTERBATIN TO STAY SANE INSIDE A JAIL CELL.
BUT...YOU TURN YOUR HEAD LIKE WAHT IM SAYIN AINT REAL,
TOO BUSY JOCKIN SHAQUILLE BETTER -KNOW TO DEAL,
YOUR MUTHA FUKKIN KARDS OR GET STUKK KUTIN YARDS, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH A HOOKA ASS WIFE1
JEALOUSY WITH HENNESSEY MAKES A NIGGA AKT SHIFTY,
PUT THE BARREL TO YOUR HEAD AND AND HEAT HE HEATER SOMETHIN SWIFTLY,
OUT OF NOWHERE ,SHOTS! INNOCENT BYSTANDER DROPS,
A BAD DREAM KEEPS ME WAKE
HEARTS TREASON(HEARTBREAKER)-BY: N.S.an(INSANE) MINISTRY
Tears in my eyes...Burning rage mixed with pain in my heart! Texts,kalls,even letters go unanswered! Kan not figure out where I went wrong...To be forsake and forgot. So unjust! No warning... Or reason...Just emotional treason! Yelling at your pikture...Tears streaming...Fists balled up as my hand went through the frame. The devils helper...liar! You...and your hidden agendas! What did you gain!?! ..By makin me lose!?! Look right into my eyes and disreguard all feelings I have for you. Dream seller...Dream killer...At no kost to you! As my dreams fade away. No blok for the hurt...No help for the pain. Hearts blak and bak in that box...NEVER TO BE LET OUT AGAIN. Grit my teeth,when I hear your name! Left hanging without a trace...Tears falling all over the place...Mad enough to hunt you down with this gun on my waist!..(SIGH). You just an oskar winner...Not worth a kase...Tellin myself to forget you,won't dry these tears on my face!..or chase...away the warm soothing feeing when you and I embrace...Or even enough respekt to tell me face to face! You are a koward! Direspektful...Kared nothing about us from the start!..A silver tounged... Demon of hate and decipt...misleader and mistreater!! Have me led on!!! ... And yet I still love her...(SIGH)... [END]
Thursday, December 23, 2010
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